Maybe i am too naive.I believed in so many impossible things.Too many which at a point had me disappointed and heart shattered thinking its not what it seems.

I've made friends from all walks of life and met ones who don't deserve to be classified as a friend.Maybe a "Foe" would have been the best word.I didn't think i should have spent a minute with them.They are the ones who you usually called the bitches,idiots,hypocrites,jerks,and wutsoever.

Among them all i hated the ones who are actually mean when one on one but plays the part of a "victim" so well she should have gotten an award for it.You know,those people who claims that they did a lot for you but they were just plain selfish and fake then goes around showing how sad they are cos she was blamed* for something she didnt do.Oh i didnt specify who but i know quite a few of them.I don't like how they would assume things and misinterpret it the other way round making me seem like the baddie.Immature and childish.

Forget this part.Concentrate on friendships.True friends.Well,i believed in friends who see you for who you are,accepts you the way you are and embraces your flaws.Friendships form when you put aside all your negative thoughts and selfishness.I make friends just as easily as i did when i first stepped into kindergarden.Those days,I would say "hi,come play?"but now its a brief "Hi" or "Hello,i'm Lisa..."

I had the bestest friends in the world though very few but they were the ones who had been thru ups and downs with me.You don't need a hundred friends walking with you who only laugh with you but never cry with you.Having just 2 or 3 good ones holding you close without stepping an inch away when you're in your worst times of your life,they're just God's gift to you.

I rarely blame anyone when it comes to any arguements i had with my bestfriends,big or small,severe or minor.I think its God's lil joke played on us to strenghten our friendship.We might have said hurtful words,cried our eyes swollen,and probably broke each other's trusts.BUt we know we've been thru strong genuine "friendship tests".

There may be a lot of people walking in our lives everyday but not each and everyone would stay.They could be people who said "hi" and "bye" and then they forgot all about you or people who don't bother to stop and listen to what you had to say.Be it "hello" or "hey, u dropped something".If someone stops to listen,its a good sign of a friend potential whos also a good listener.A good listener.A good advisor.Someone who lends a shoulder for you to lean on.Someone who shares your tears an laughter.I've found them.My real bestfriends.Have you?

A while ago i thought i missed you.But later on,i think i don't.You're just so near yet i don't feel your existence.You have no clue of who i'm describing.You don't know what or why i do random acts annoyingly weird.Funny how i find that comforting.You make me laugh so much even when i'm angry or frustrated.I tend to meet people like that.Making me hate them but i still want them around.lol.

Sometimes i don't know why i feel lost but i find myself picking up the trails i left behind.I am not letting go or giving up anymore.I wanna stay and i wanna learn.I'm not vulnerable.I'm adaptable.I do not believe in failure.I will climb higher from each stepping stone i tiptoed on.I will make sure.

R.I.P. MIchael Jackson

I cant believe you're not even proud of me when i learnt not to cry over jerks,to defend myself from being misjudged.You encouraged me and you're saying now that i'm too tough, i'm just mean and i'm bad just cos i didn't care twice as much as i did before.whats your problem buddy?i didn't think it was my fault.stand up for urself if you think i got you wrong.

I hate that people just talk shit whenever and wherever they are.They talk shit about you no matter how perfect you are.They talk shit about your everything from head to toe.They make up silly assumptions and they pass it around like farts then the whole world believes in it and you get the stares and glares.WTF.

Don't assume or judge me before knowing me.All those bitches with too much time and nothing better to do.Oh btw "Bitches" do not only refer to women.Men can be way bitchier.

I just found out that a friend of mine has leukemia.She had it since she was a child.And she has been going thru treatments since.Am feeling very worried for her.Gonna pray for her to get well soon.Shes still very chirpy and smiley despite all the chemo shes going thru.I don't know what i can do for her now.But all i know is i will visit her as soon as my exams end in July.I don't wanna regret.

Ok i dont want this to be a sad post.I'm sure Caryn will be fine.i know she will.

Had a great time last night at a friend's fashion party and brand launch.Tho i felt a lil guilty that it wasnt as great as we expected.Oh well.I just felt funny.Very excited bout the whole party and the people i met.I had fun dressing up and partying.Got some very flattering compliments and that actually hyped up my self confidence.And needless to say i've got very good permission from mom and dad to party out late :P ahh the world is so nice to me.keke

Funny part was i had friends who actually knew my other friends and they were like having this mini gathering.How sweet.It was all nice to catch up wif my old time buddies who made suchan effort to attend this event with me.Altho some friends and VIPs stood me up i just couldnt bother such as it wasn't my own party :P I was just helping Kenneth to promote his fashion party *slutty sixth sense* :))

I felt terribly guilty to have stumbled on some little toes of the many people i didnt recognize while walking up and down looking for my guests and VIPs...*shy*i wished i could apologize to them each and everyone.But you know,the musics so loud in the club u cant hardly talk.You have to shout and yell and oh you know what i mean.

Been very happy and proud with myself for achieving little goals.I learnt how to go to places on my own.Without any help.I could go anywhere with or without a friend.I do not feel lonely or upset that i dont have anyone special.And i so do not miss being attached eventho i've just found some pics of my ex and his so called hot model girlfriend on some other friend's album.I was actually expecting myself to get all teary and upset but surprise surprise, i was so cool about it.I could so give myself a pat on the back and say "you're so over him hun" :))

Yea yea thats an update alright.I gotta start on my assignments.

*hums to music*

3 days and counting...

Why is it that the same sentence that i repeated to different people actually OFFENDED you and no one else but you?You said i annoyed you,upset you,disrespect you and many others.Then you go crying ,making a scene trying to get people to hate me.You said i'm a bully,underestimating your abilities and that i looked down on you because you weren't well educated.All that for the littliest things that i said.The smallest matters.

I do not know how to communicate with you honestly.You're such an attention seeker.Drama Queen.Yet you denied all that.You only wanted to listen to sweet words,praises of your good acts* and your what-so-ever skills.When i voice out i do not intend to upset you,i just wanna be very honest with whats on my mind,i do not wanna lie or keep anything from you.Why is that so difficult to do so?

I adore you for all that you've done for us.I loved you so much and i couldn't imagine life without you by our side.I would have been nothing without you.But sometimes i wished you could lower your egos and have a proper talk with us, with an open mind?Its just not too much to ask for.

Although sometimes you do make our life so miserable ,you know we still can't be mad at you for more than a day.OK your feelings are hurt as well but aren't we all are? i would always try to cope with your mood-swings,your emotions that changes like weather,your every sudden action and speech.I don't wanna waste my life arguing with you anymore.Life is so fragile i really don't know if i had enough moments shared with you.

Rain.In the middle of the night.Of all nights it has to rain tonight.I was pretty sure i felt good and happy lately.But the rain just got me thinking of many other things which i'm not supposed to.

Its been a long while.I've forgotten how you got me those crystal domes.Oh what do you call that.Ones you could shake it and watch the flakes fall slowly.You got me two of those.Both sitting on my study.Dusty and unshaken.

Among other things.I thought.Were pretty much unshaken.Only part of them were.Memories from the past has faded.Our memories.Wonder how things are with you but i busied myself,not wanting to call or text.

Its not the right time yet.We need more space.I'm not walking alone if you wanna know.I didn't need someone special to make me feel wanted.Not like you.

I'm ready to take the lead.Its my life.